Saturn ~ Sleeping At Last

This masterpiece of a song is my go-to when I’m down or anxious about the world. You won’t regret giving it a listen, here.

I’d give anything to hear
You say it one more time,
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes.
That’s one of my favorite lines right there, folks.
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A Pair of Koi

I’m a carcass, a shell of what I used to be
Won’t you come and pick me out of my misery?
My koi fish
You are swimming away from me
Far too fast, yet again

I’m a thousand hearts away
From losing this game
But how long can I hold myself up?
When every little step I take
Every glance I take
I stumble on my fallen heart
I trip upon my fallen heart

Now won’t you come and pick me out of my misery?
My koi fish
You are swimming away from me
I’m far too slow, yet again

Well, take care, mon chéri
Can I come visit you one day?
(Some promises don’t always mend)
And this time I would like to stay

‘Cause I’m a carcass, a shell of what I used to be
Won’t you come and pick me out of my misery?
My koi fish
You are swimming away from me
Far too fast, yet again

And I’m one thirty-four hearts away
From losing this game
Well, take care, mon chéri
I’m on my way to your doorstep
(Some promises don’t see the end)
And this time I would like to stay


Koi fish carry deep symbolism: strength, patience, power, and so on. For me, they represent my equilibrium, alluding to their meaning of yin and yang. Koi are usually kept in pairs and are extremely friendly creatures. Hence, one fish is this unstable and neurotic me and the other is the calm and sane me. Since, I currently exist as the former, you will see a lack of structure or finesse in this piece (and a lot of other intricacies which I wouldn’t want to bore anyone with)

I also wrote this as more of a tune, with a melody to it. As amateurish as it may sound, it’s hella cute (vanity level 11/10). If only I could play the ukulele, hehe.

Do you ever write stupid songs or poems and want the world to hear them? Let’s start a band haha

//DYSMORPHIA//

Hiya! So I’ve been on the quest to write and post more regularly and found the best solution – let’s combine it with my art! So every now and then I’ll be posting something like this, let me know if you like it. But nothing else changes, all my content remains 100% original 🙂 As […]

Dysmorphia

I am a canvas,
A void, a pigment
Of non-existence
Smooth at a glance;
But my skin betrays me
As you glide your hand across my surface.

I am the artist:
Overwhelmed,
Not quite overwhelming yet
Striving to spark a wildfire,
By the motion of my bare hand,
Beyond the boundary of my mind.

I am a paint brush:
The instrument of my trade
I dip myself in apathy,
Dripping down the bristles
You’d not expect it to be so yellow,
But two toned as it is, I do not see the gray.

Plain as I am,
I am the white canvas
Of infinite possibilities

The Morning Paper

I spilled my imaginary eggs and coffee at half past six;
You know best that my treacherous body cannot survive eggs or caffeine.
My purple robe turned brown, as the kitchen filtered into sepia.
They said they found a most unnatural gathering of pearls by the seaside;
I prayed to the Lord for it to not be you.

 

A Covenant

In this era of use and throw
We go beyond plastics and papers
In the reign of eco-friendly
We have long lost our humanity
Oh, the irony!
But some of us come with
User friendly engraved in our minds,
On our arms
And we wonder why
Exploitation is not extinct
We feign
The birds feign along
Because it is not a fault but an art,
To pretend to perfection
That this orb of a world
Is alright
And we are alright
While we convolute all beyond recognition
Because humanity is not
For the psyche or the soma;
It is for the ones who cannot speak

Trying To Learn The Art Of Writing

Heya! I’m taking a break from life (doctors say I need a major de-stress period) so I have a lot of time on my hands. I’m going on a crusade against my old self, and I’m beginning by focusing on writing (among other things, but oh well).

Writing has always been a flimsy and superficial affair, even though I take my reading very very seriously (Brontë, anyone?). Alas, here I am trying to mend my ways.
It’s gonna be an exploration from various sources (mainly books and our internet). I begin by the basics of poetry, moving onto prose, blah blah.

Would you like to learn all this with me? Sorta like a self-help teamwork thing (yay!).
Also, do you have any tips or leads to get me started?

Have a great day 🙂

Finding Joy in Chronic Illness

I got diagnosed with Hashimoto’s today and this piece of writing has put that silver lining and the feeling of things having a “higher purpose” into words.

Hello Hashimotos

Let me make one thing clear. My life with Hashimoto’s can bring about a lot of challenges and setbacks. That being said, I by no means think that I have it worse than everyone else. There are so many people who endure so much more than me every day, that have sicknesses that require them to fight for their life hour by hour, and a “good day” for them is being able to sit up in bed for a while. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Though I often don’t feel good, have low energy, can’t control my weight, etc., I still feel so blessed to be able to live life the way I do. Though I don’t always have the energy to workout, sometimes I do. Though I usually don’t feel rested, I am still able to go to class and work after. Though I’ve faced a lot…

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I Am Over You

I am over you
I don’t imagine your presence;
I no longer feel your absence
Or hear your tingling giggle
When my life is tinted grey

Pictures are nothing but,
They spark memories no more
My chest does not cave in
Every instant another hand grips yours
Or finds its way trickling down your spine

I believe that I am over you
Much like my body was over yours
In that everlasting, but forgotten, summer afternoon
But belief is known to betray,
My love (no more)

How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d?
~Alexander Pope~